Clean Underwear...

Yes....smile as you read this title;

as you go on further....

you will realize how serious..

" Clean Underwear " gets....

As a start,

All my clean underwear were my mum's hard work...

She is not a house wife...

She is a Head Clerk of a private company...

20years and still in service,

handles all the accounts and finance for the company..

Mum is the updated system of the company plus

she knows every file and every information in that file that makes this company tick...

I know all this because, i spent all my time growing up visiting her office every Saturdays.

It's the only time when i get in her working hours (way)

because Monday to Friday...i was sent (like many other children) to a caring family that takes care of us when i our parents goes to work...

[Baby Sitting Home]

Owwhh...both my parents work...

My dad, he's never home;

He comes home when i'm asleep

and leaves to work before i'm awake...

Many people don't know this...

but there has been and always will be a unit that travels into the woods,

tracing electrical cables...(ensuring it's continuity)

15 days in the heavy dark jungle and 15 days home...

Thats why i don't see him much at home...

He was, a part of this unit...not any more...

Anyway,

Besides the company...

Mum had us...

She was either occupied by workload or us-load...

because my brother and i rocked the house as we grew up...

We broke mirrors...and light bulbs...

heat up telephone bills...

go missing for few hours...

piss off the neighbours...and all kind of crazy stuff...

We fought alot too...

Mum was the Judge and the Jury...wasn't fair thou...i always had to give in, for i was the eldest..

i use to get real mad at her...

All that went away, when i was chosen for the Malaysian National Service...

Mum was sad...i had to leave her for 3 solid months...but she didn't show..

She packed all my cloths for me...including my 'clean underwear'...

She always said that, no matter how successful i am or how famous i become...

She will be the only one who reminds me of carrying extra clean underwear wherever and when ever i travel... We laughed about it...but i knew she was worried about me....

On that day when i had to leave to camp, i realised her sadness in her unsteady tone when she said goodbye as my bus engine roared behind me...

the tightest hug and the saddest tears rolled down her cheeks...

i on the other end, swallowed all sorrow and pain down my throat as i turn and walked towards my bus...

i was mentally and physically challenged by the boys in camp....

One and a half months in the camp were a dark marker shaded in my memory...

Alot of unexpected things happened to me...i grit my teeth and stayed with bits and pieces of sanity that was left in me... i missed her dearly...

One fine day, i cracked...

i took on 13 of them whom were in my ' Must Kill List '.... and i got home with a black eye and bruises all over my body...

Mum drowned in tears to see me in such condition....

i'm jumping out of points here but the sad truth was....

my brother and i made mum cry alot... We hurt her feelings in so many different ways....especially with words and rebellious actions..

I realised that my mum doesn't have a breaking point....only level of limits...

No matter how bad we treated her...her love on us never once fluttered...

i learned the meaning of unconditional love...

To think of it, she cooks, cleans, loves and care for us so much that she doesn't even have a hobby....

She knows i'm embarrassed when i hear her say this phrase

" Mummy's lil boy "

but you know what? i'm her lil boy...and i'm proud of it...and i'm proud of her...

She is the reason for who i am today...

She is my knight and shining armor...

I could always wake up some day losing the love of my life or my job...

but not her unconditional love..

i love her so much....

The funny truth why i took on 13 of them was because

they scissored all my ' clean underwear ' =P