..Connection..

i wanted to title this post as distance but

..Connection..

sounded comforting....

reasonable...

- Spaced yet still in Love -

There's a saying...

" Absence makes the heart grow fonder "

well....

it also makes you feel alot more lonely...

A friend told me:

" All, a person wants is someone

to be there, to hold them close

and

tell em' that

" everything is fine "

Now, no one belief craps

like touch your heart and you will feel me or

close your eyes and you'll see me.....

please.......use Skype

If you don't know how to use Skype....

you might as well be blind too... "

- Love at a distance -

Hard part:

waiting...

at some point...you might wanna end it...

but then, thinking about what made you wait so long...

will make you wait even longer..

The problem:

either one of the involved will feel that,

the other is not putting enough effort to keep

the flames alive and dancing...

but

they always forget that BOTH are fighting

this mental war and both are on the same side...

' Long Distance Relationships

are always at war

against

patience and distance '

as you can see

distance have already infiltrated

the quote...

What i think.........'out loud'...:

Everyone forgets that the heart is just an icon....

a symbol....of love... thats all...

the chemistry comes from all the way up there...

the brain...

As far as i know...

the ' love feeling '...

has nothing to do with the heart...

Everything works up there..

The brain lies to you and puts the blame on the heart...

the heart that knows nothing but to only keeping you alive by pumping..

....and please....

no one feels with their heart...

so don't say " you hurt me " *hands close to chest* ------> (Bullshit)

Have you felt a strong jolt in your heart before??

when you're down & hurt.....a heart grabbing feeling...?

well, you shouldn't...thats not love failure my friend...

thats a stroke.. =)

Alright...

Here is something to think off...

you may love the person on the other side of the phone

or a Skype call...

How sure are you when you are with the person,

it's gonna be the same?

My mum knew a couple that fell deeply love with each other...

A few months in a relationship, the guy got an offer to work

overseas...

they kept in touch for eight solid years..

building castles in the sky together and when the time came..

they got married....and soon..

their sky castles got blown away...

they only lasted 5months before they got a legal divorce..

Their reasons for doing so....

Her point: He had habits she could't stand...

His point: She is a total control freak... =)

yes, it could be 1 out of a hundred couple....

it may also be a bad example....

but think...this actually happened...

plus, we are living in the 20th century...

Sincerity is the BIG question...

Concluding:

Falling in love or keeping it alive

is not

the heart of

a relationship

of any kind...

"Accepting the person"

of any kind

is the heart of a relationship..

Inspired by,

Iyeswary Sugumaran

Clean Underwear...

Yes....smile as you read this title;

as you go on further....

you will realize how serious..

" Clean Underwear " gets....

As a start,

All my clean underwear were my mum's hard work...

She is not a house wife...

She is a Head Clerk of a private company...

20years and still in service,

handles all the accounts and finance for the company..

Mum is the updated system of the company plus

she knows every file and every information in that file that makes this company tick...

I know all this because, i spent all my time growing up visiting her office every Saturdays.

It's the only time when i get in her working hours (way)

because Monday to Friday...i was sent (like many other children) to a caring family that takes care of us when i our parents goes to work...

[Baby Sitting Home]

Owwhh...both my parents work...

My dad, he's never home;

He comes home when i'm asleep

and leaves to work before i'm awake...

Many people don't know this...

but there has been and always will be a unit that travels into the woods,

tracing electrical cables...(ensuring it's continuity)

15 days in the heavy dark jungle and 15 days home...

Thats why i don't see him much at home...

He was, a part of this unit...not any more...

Anyway,

Besides the company...

Mum had us...

She was either occupied by workload or us-load...

because my brother and i rocked the house as we grew up...

We broke mirrors...and light bulbs...

heat up telephone bills...

go missing for few hours...

piss off the neighbours...and all kind of crazy stuff...

We fought alot too...

Mum was the Judge and the Jury...wasn't fair thou...i always had to give in, for i was the eldest..

i use to get real mad at her...

All that went away, when i was chosen for the Malaysian National Service...

Mum was sad...i had to leave her for 3 solid months...but she didn't show..

She packed all my cloths for me...including my 'clean underwear'...

She always said that, no matter how successful i am or how famous i become...

She will be the only one who reminds me of carrying extra clean underwear wherever and when ever i travel... We laughed about it...but i knew she was worried about me....

On that day when i had to leave to camp, i realised her sadness in her unsteady tone when she said goodbye as my bus engine roared behind me...

the tightest hug and the saddest tears rolled down her cheeks...

i on the other end, swallowed all sorrow and pain down my throat as i turn and walked towards my bus...

i was mentally and physically challenged by the boys in camp....

One and a half months in the camp were a dark marker shaded in my memory...

Alot of unexpected things happened to me...i grit my teeth and stayed with bits and pieces of sanity that was left in me... i missed her dearly...

One fine day, i cracked...

i took on 13 of them whom were in my ' Must Kill List '.... and i got home with a black eye and bruises all over my body...

Mum drowned in tears to see me in such condition....

i'm jumping out of points here but the sad truth was....

my brother and i made mum cry alot... We hurt her feelings in so many different ways....especially with words and rebellious actions..

I realised that my mum doesn't have a breaking point....only level of limits...

No matter how bad we treated her...her love on us never once fluttered...

i learned the meaning of unconditional love...

To think of it, she cooks, cleans, loves and care for us so much that she doesn't even have a hobby....

She knows i'm embarrassed when i hear her say this phrase

" Mummy's lil boy "

but you know what? i'm her lil boy...and i'm proud of it...and i'm proud of her...

She is the reason for who i am today...

She is my knight and shining armor...

I could always wake up some day losing the love of my life or my job...

but not her unconditional love..

i love her so much....

The funny truth why i took on 13 of them was because

they scissored all my ' clean underwear ' =P

My dad...My Hero...

My dad...

like no other... The man who works his guts out 24/7... Dedicated to work like no other...

when i was 8years old...i only wake up to hear the him shover....its around 5.30 in the morning..

and comes home....hmmm...when i'm deep asleep...

I neva missed him...for my mum keeps my brother and me occupied...

My dad....

like no other... buys me every expensive gadget out there, if i talked about it to him.. He knows..

and i make it obvious..that i want it.. He neva told me no but denied me in many other matters... He is a man of his words... Only setback,

he gets me more than what i expect... his principle is that : If you are gonna think...think big or don't think at all...

same goes to if ur gonna get something...get the best or don't waste time getting it...

My dad...

like no other... taught me to neva give up... When i was at the age of 13.. he use to take us all to jog in the morning...

i was a lil chubby...[damn fat]..thats not the point...

the park that we jog at is very very big... my dad jogs all the way till back to the start...

i give up after 10mins...then i start pretending that im jogging... 1 day.. dad told me to jog with him...follow his pace..

neva to give up...he told me to lie to myself saying " the end is near.. "

that day..i jogged the whole path till im back to where i started..i went the extra mile..

i was proud of myself more than ever..

he also taught me how to play chess and swim... i represented my school in primary for playing chess and i saved a friend when he was about to drown in a dare. [waterfall incident]

My dad...

like no other... asked me if i hit him (a boy) hard enough for him to remember me?

i got into a fight and i told him afterwards... my mum doesn't depend on anyone but herself...

she gets real angry when things don't go her way...but my dads patience got me thinkin...

He keeps his cool on any matter that hits shore... thats one thing i want to earn for i have my mum's rage..

as time goes by...dad tells me to forget and forgive...for friction takes us nowhere...

My dad...

like yours like no other... right now...i miss him... i thought about all those time till today...and now...

where would i be without him... the man who will stand right there even if i'm wrong.. the man who is so proud of what i have become today... he pisses me off all the damn time but i can't hate him... it's like this ' i can't live with him and i can't live without him '

Love your dad unconditionally before you love another.. See what you can't see now..for you may neva see it...

My dad...

like no other... is still not back yet...

(Inspired by a girl who fought wit her dad....)